


I’ve Got to Keep Control

by faithinthepoor



Series: Glee [21]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 18:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1951545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during The Rocky Horror Glee Show</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’ve Got to Keep Control

**Author's Note:**

> In my series this follows [I’m Not That Girl](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640810), [It Sucks to be Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640836), [Kiss Me Goodbye](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640850), [We All Have Sorrow](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640862), [I’m Not Myself Lately](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640884), [I Ain’t the Worst You’ve Ever Seen](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640900), [I Know That I’ve Got Issues](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640908), [You’ll Never See What You’ve Done to Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641365), [Everyone Must Stand Alone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641370), [I Should Be Happy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641377), [Every Now and Then I Fall Apart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641387), [I Wish That I Had Jesse’s Girl](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641391), [I Dreamed That God Would Be Forgiving](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641394), [I Don’t Want To Be Friends](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641401), [I’m a Loser Baby](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641414), [I Sometimes Wish I’d Never Been Born At All](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641422), [I Don’t Wanna Think Anymore](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951407), [I Am Stronger Than Yesterday](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951449), [Can You Hear Me Praying?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951482) and [If I Lost You Would I Cry?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951506)

“I’m sorry but this just isn’t working for me.” Rachel states and sits down on the piano stool.

“Am I not Brad-like enough for you?” Quinn asks. “Cause I could strip down to my underwear if that would help.”

“It’s ok. You’re doing fine but there just isn’t much of a point to me running lines if Finn isn’t here.”

“Oh I see,” Quinn’s words are clipped but given that her other options were crying or yelling she thinks she is showing remarkable poise.

“That’s not how I meant it,” Rachel asserts and she grabs Quinn’s hand, pulling her down onto the stool.

Quinn lands awkwardly and she has to put her hands on Rachel’s thighs in order to right herself. One side of her body is in contact with Rachel and although Couch Sylvester assures her that the Cheerios’ uniform is flame resistant Quinn is terrified that the heat from her skin is going to set hers on fire. “Just how did you mean it then?”

“My lines are memorised and my performance is as perfect as it can be at this point.”

“So humble,” Quinn observes.

“I don’t believe false humility would be appropriate. Besides if I had have said something deprecating about my performance you would be telling me that I didn’t mean it and that I was fishing for compliments.”

“I really don’t think I would have said that.”

“Maybe not but you would be thinking it.”

“Possibly,” she admits. “I don’t like that you just assume that I am thinking bad things about you.”

“Historically it has proven to be an accurate position to take. As default states go it’s a fairly safe bet,” Rachel looks away as she replies.

Quinn strokes Rachel’s arm lightly, “Don’t you think it would be easier on you if you didn’t make quite so many waves?”

“So I should pretend to be something that I’m not just to win the favour of people who didn’t like me in the first place? I know that everyone finds me annoying, even Finn. Even you. Still I know who I am and who I am trying to be and I’d rather be hated for being me than liked for trying to be someone I’m not.”

“I guess I can understand that,” she says quietly.

“I didn’t mean to imply that you are pretending.”

“No, it’s ok. We both know that’s what I do. I guess I can’t handle the thought of people hating me.” Sometimes she feels as though she is made of straw and that if she wasn’t popular she would be blown away by the first large gust of air that came her way. Having a baby hit her with the force of a twister and she is worried that there is not much of her left.

“I need approval too. I say that I’m like Tinkerbell, that I need applause to live, and that’s sadly very true. I need affirmation from random strangers clapping in the dark in order to feel that what I do matters. That I matter. I tell myself that they are clapping for my talent but if they are clapping at all it’s because they connect with the song or my acting. Either way what they are responding to is me pretending to be something or someone else.”

“But at least when you are not on stage you show the real you to the world.”

“I don’t think anyone does that. We all spend our lives pretending.”

“I’m so sick of pretending to be Quinn Fabray.”

“You don’t have to pretend when you’re with me,” Rachel meets Quinn’s gaze and Quinn seems to have forgotten the skills that allow one to swallow.

“I know and I’m really grateful.”

Rachel grabs Quinn’s hand and kisses it. In response Quinn automatically looks to the door to make sure that no one is watching. “Not grateful enough to be seen with me though.”

“I’m not the one with the boyfriend here.”

“What about Sam?” Rachel asks and then waves her hands to ward off a response. “Don’t answer that. We were having a nice little moment about not needing to pretend. I meant that. The last thing I want is for you to pretend to be comfortable with things that you’re not or to lie to me in order to make me happy.”

“You think I’d do things to make you happy.”

“I’m kinda hoping,” Rachel’s eyes darken and she risks placing a quick kiss on Quinn’s neck.

“I take it you have a few things in mind,” Quinn states wryly.

“One or two but we can’t do those here.”

“In that case maybe it’s safer if we go back to running lines.”

“That’s not necessary. I need to work on the scene with Finn. Not because he’s Finn,” Rachel adds quickly, “he’s the one I have to do the scene with and he’s the one who really needs the work.”

She doesn’t make any kind of crack about how much work Finn needs. Someone should be rewarding her for her restraint because she has managed to learn to respond to only a small fraction of the openings that she is given about Finn. “Mercedes got to play a guy. I should have asked to play Brad.”

“Quinn even in Harry Potter glasses and boxer shorts you are going to fail to look like a dorky guy. Especially in the boxers.”

“Finn seems kind of freaked out about the whole underwear thing.”

“He is having some body issues. I have practically become a gym widow. I keep telling him that it’s not going to matter how cut he is if he can’t sing the songs but he really isn’t listening to me.”

“No wonder our football team suffered so many losses in the past. What kind of school has a quarterback who isn’t fit enough to show his chest in public?”

“I think he is intimidated by Sam.”

“And I think he has a bit of a man crush.”

“Are you saying that to upset me?”

“I’m saying that because nothing is out of the realm of possibility,” to underscore her point she squeezes Rachel’s hand.

“Fair enough,” Rachel concedes, “but you must be liking the idea of Sam prancing around the stage in gold briefs.”

“Well Sam seems to have no problem with it.”

“You don’t have to be so casual about it. I know all the girls are excited about it. Santana almost drooled.”

“Rachel, Santana could get turned on by a cactus. I’m not minimising things but I was trying to stop your head from getting any bigger.”

“Sam having a good body isn’t something that’s going to be an ego boost for me.”

“Man you can be dumb. He’s going to be on stage in his underwear but so are you. Who do you think I’ll be looking at?”

“Ooooooh.”

“That’s right.”

“If you want I could give you a preview now.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

Rachel puts her arms around Quinn, “You’ve been right all along. I do need to work on the scene and it needs to be a full dress rehearsal.”

“No,” Quinn squeaks.

“No?” Rachel raises an eye brow and slips one hand under the back of Quinn’s top.

“If you are in your underwear we are not going to get any practise done.”

“Well it would be a different kind of practise. Not that I want to call that practise. That’s makes it sound like I’m working on things, waiting for something better. I’m totally not. I wouldn’t use you like that but it’s just that I don’t really have any experience.” Rachel has managed to fluster herself out of the moment and Quinn lets out a sigh of relief.

“It’s ok for us to practise that together. It’s not something I’ve done either. Well, you know what I mean. But I don’t think good things are going to come out of us rehearsing if you are in your underwear.”

“You don’t know that. I think some very good things might come out of it. Earlier you were offering to do the scene in your underwear and I think it was rude of me not to take you up on that offer.”

“I didn’t think that had even registered with you.”

“I’ve pretty much been incapable of thinking of anything else since you mentioned it.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“Me picturing you semi-naked makes you glad?”

“It’s more comforting than the thought of you not wanting to picture me that way. Are your fathers home?”

“I don’t like the thought of you mentioning my fathers in this conversation but no they are going to dinner and a movie tonight. It’s their date night. Why do you ask?”

“I want to take you home and take off your clothes.”

Rachel seems to freeze. She is breathing rapidly and her eyes are fixed on Quinn’s. Quinn is about to seize the moment and kiss her, public setting be damned, when Finn bursts through the door.

He fumbles around and apologises for being late while Rachel bounds to his side like a golden retriever. Quinn could kill both of them. She makes her exit graciously, deferring to the fact that they need to work on the scene. As she pushes the doors open she turns back and tells Rachel, “Any time you need someone to work with you I’m happy to pick up where we left off.” Rachel blushes deeply and Quinn feels a satisfying surge of power.

For now she will have to go home alone. She can fill in her time making a voodoo doll of Finn. Undressing Rachel remains nothing more than a figment of her imagination but she is positive that it’s not always going to be that way.


End file.
